Monday, December 21, 2009

I'm changing my name to Cheetah Fine

The Holiday Season is not only upon us, but it's all up-on-us (yeah, that just happened)... thus Livi has taken to wearing a bell necklace and I am now alerted to her presence before she can sneak up on me in the bathroom and scare the living crap out of me (as she absolutely LOVES to do). I love it. It's a lot like the bear-bell that Hannah and Emma got me when we went to Montana. Unfortunately, that bear-bell didn't work and I was mauled by a bear.
That was a lie. I've never been attacked by a bear. Also, never, under any circumstances, Google image-search "bear attack". Trust me.

If there's one thing in the world that I love, it's Arsenal Football Club. If there's another, though, it's movie trailers that provide me with the entire story so that I don't have to waste my money seeing it in theatres. Case-in-point: the trailer for "Leap Year" starring Amy Adams. This is literally the plot (and I'm not making this up): girl wants her boyfriend to propose, but he's not getting it. So, her father suggests she take him to Ireland and, in this oh-so-crazy plot twist, she propose to him, which is some sort of horrible thing that can only be done on February 29 or else the world will explode because of the crazy role-reversal. Or something. Anyway, shit gets crazy and she has to hitch a ride from a totally hot, totally available, totally well-suited-for-her Irish guy. They have a wild time trying to drive his piece of shit car from one end of Ireland to the other, and end up falling in love in a couple days, so that when the trailer ends and Amy Adams is standing in front of her original boyfriend (who, in the course of the movie, got his shit together) who is on one knee proposing, we see her looking longingly at said hot-as-the-day-is-long-Irish dude as if she wishes that they were in yet another role reversal. I am assuming that they end up together, and so should you. And, BAM! Movie.
Get ready for some Irish-themed hi jinx. Or, don't. Cause the entire movie is available on apple trailers.

Also, I'm getting a new compy for Christmas/graduation, so get ready for a blog, live from a mac!

Yeah, I graduated. Crazy... Let me know if you want to read a thesis entitled "naked ladies and why I love them, Attic vases edition"

Dinner is ready, so I gotta cut this short!

Peace, Love, and Chicken Piccatta

Friday, December 4, 2009


Sometimes, I go three months without posting. Whoops.

When we last talked, I was complaining about my thesis, going through dental procedures, schlepping Liv, and ingesting large amounts of Crystal Light drink mix. Today, I'm complaining about my thesis, going through dental procedures, and schlepping Liv. I've moved on from Crystal Light to Starbucks "Via" instant coffee in an attempt to stay awake for more than 12 hours at a time...
I'm pretty sure it's illegal in Canada

Anyway, in exactly one week from today, my thesis will be turned in and I will be a free woman! I can't believe that my time at Northwestern/college is coming to a close. Scratch that, yes, yes I can. It's been four and a half years and honestly, I'm ready for the next chapter of my life. As you know, I refrain from writing too much about my emotional state of being (it's better for everyone involved, believe you me), but let's leave it at this: I've been in the same place for 22 years and I'm dunzo with the E for a while.
It's been real, homie.

So, where to now? St. Breiuc, France. Three months of living in a sea-side town teaching English to high schoolers who will most likely ridicule me in French and for my inability to understand their idioms (it's like a bowl in a china shop grace!) and my penchant for fringed clothing. Whatever, joke's on them cause FRINGE IS THE TITS!
Oh hey, picturesque French town! What's that? You're super excited for me to be there too? See you on January 21!

In other news, I'm being so fucking stereo-typical right now I might have to kick my own ass: I'm sitting in my favorite independently owned cafe in Evanston, drinking black coffee (I like to put milk and sugar in it but I think that drinking black coffee makes me seem more intellectual. Woof), listening to obscure indie German pop music on, wearing horn-rimmed glasses, and blogging. At least I don't have a moleskine that I'm writing my observations about the world in....that's visible cause it's currently in my timbuk2 shoulder bag.
Excuse me while I run to Whole Foods to buy my Fair Trade lunch and get a new Sigg water bottle in a cool new pattern that lets people know how much I care about the environment while still filling up my SUV's tank every three days. #hipsterfail

Self loathing: now available in Katie! Ready to ship today!

*Transition sentence*. My exam today looms ever-nearer, and I'm still not studying...Harmony has effectively ruined my chances at graduate school, but at least now I can resolve dominant seventh chords! And dear lord if I wasn't thinking just this summer, "wow, I love listening to music, but I want to know if parallel eighths can occur between the soprano and the bass in a typical aria!" Well, now I know the answer: THEY CAN'T. Little known fact: a parallel eighth will create a black hole as well as a break in the space time continuum that can only be mended by pointing out said mistakes on a test (or by the Doctor coming and rescuing me from said test).
The only thing I like about this is that sometimes it has Latin text that I can translate.

A couple Livi-isms** to get you through the day:

** her comments have gone from cute to mean. Observe:
1. "You love vampires so much! Oh my god! I bet you have a shrune [sic] to them in your closet!"
2. Me: I want a boyfriend. Ugh.
Livi: You should just get a cat. That's how it's going to end up anyway. You with a lot of cats.
3. "I bet you've never even kissed a boy!! And family doesn't count!"
4. Me: I have a new crush.
Livi (rolling her eyes): Is he real? Or is this another vampire?


Currently reading: What? What's "reading"?
Currently listening to: Passion Pit radio station on lastfm
Currently craving: Any member of the Chicago Blackhawks to marry me. Have you looked at their roster? Shiiiiiit....

Need a Green card, Niklas? I'd be down to help you out.

Peace, Love, and GRADUATING!

- Blowfish.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A Little Piece of Advice...

GO TO THE DENTIST REGULARLY! If you don't, you'll end up like me: a thousand cavities; needing a post (which is, for those of you fortunate enough NOT to be familiar with the procedure is when you get a tooth pulled and have to have a titanium screw put into your gum. I shit you not.), a crown, and perhaps a root canal; even a special device to wear while I sleep so that I stop grinding my teefers.

Dear Katie,
Even though your mom spent thousands of dollars on dental procedures while you were a wee child to prevent things like this from happening, your intense fear of the dentist and subsequent missing of appointments for the past five years have caused you to owe me approximately $12,000.
Peace out loser!
The Dentist

Expect lots of posts about my future painful issues related to this crap. Need I say it? Yes. F.M.L.

In other news, there are two news kitties in my life!

Dr. Anthony Whiskers, my wonderful god son/unlicensed neurosurgeon

Huxtable (Hux!), my amazingly adorable nephew and newest addition to the Micaela and Kristin bachelorette pad

I don't start school for another 21 days, so I'll be spending my days pretending to work on my thesis (as always), schlepping Olivia, and watching Beethoven's 2nd over and over and over.

Charles Grodin deserves and Oscar for reprising his role as the reluctant but loving head of the Newton family

If you haven't seen Inglourious Basterds yet, DO IT! For a really great review of this movie, please see Julia's blog. She's a great writer and her astute observations will leave you seriously jonesing to see this film.

And you surrrriously don't want to disobey me. The consequences are dire. DIRE I SAY!

Hero of the summer: Crystal Light "On-The-Go" drink packets. Because I've had to drastically cut back on my one and only true love (Diet Coke, DUH!), this has made my three-Nalgene's a day bearable and even quite deliciously refreshing.

The Pink Lemonade flavor is my steeeeeez

Currently reading: The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkein (I can't believe I've never read it...I feel ashamed.)
Currently listening to: Jeff Buckley Grace
Currently craving: An Arsenal 09/10 away kit (yeah, I like it! So sue me)

and by "Away Kit", I mean Theo Wolcott in his away kit...

Monday, July 20, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today, I bought a wedding dress. I'm not even joking. I (erm, Aunt Tina, but whatevs) found the most amazing vintage store in the world, right here in St. Louis (indeed, I am in fact visiting "The Show-Me State", staying in Grace's abandoned room, and avoiding doing much of anything despite the fact that I have an entire section of my thesis due on Tuesday and I haven't started it...but more about that later).

For that player-to-be-named-later and my's wedding...yeah, this actually happened. Wedding Fail? Obvi. Woof. And all other words to describe the horror.

In the past month, I've accomplished many things:
1. I decided where I'm applying to grad school
2. I have tan lines
3. I've played in a sprinkler
4. I've gone to New York
5. I've gone to St. Louis
6. I read three books
7. I bought a wedding dress
8. I slept. A lot.
9. I started meditating, though not very successfully

In the past month, I've NOT accomplished many things:

...I'm pretty sure I have some sort of disease, and it's called "can't-do-shit-until-the-night-before-itis". It's really serious, and there's still no cure. I'm counting on new advances in science to help me with this dire condition. Until then, this is what tomorrow night will look like:
+ = thesis? Pray for me.

Yeah, in case you missed it, I went to New York last month to visit Gracie. Here's what happened:


Brooklyn Bridge

Awkward for me.


Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory

Central Park

Grace's Apt

Mr. Beaver is quite an accomplished traveller. He's been to NYC, Amsterdam, London, Athens, Paris, Le Mans, Fond du Lac, St. Louis, Lake Geneva, Evanston, Chicago, and Ithaca.

I'm joining my friends' fantasy premier league team. I'm nervous, as this is the first time that I'm taking on such an endeavor. I've done fantasy baseball for the bast six years, but this is a whole new ball game. And, as Matt put in the e-mail to us about the league, "no, Katie, this is not a way for you to line up all the players you think are hot and want to shtup." Way to call me out.

Now, many of you may be asking yourself, "Katie, what sort of genius name have you come up with for your team?" Good. Question. My fantasy baseball teams have all been named various levels of Spartacus (Spartacus, Spartacus II, Spartacus the third, etc.), but I felt like going in a different direction with this one. So, allow me to introduce the best and most amazing Premier League Fantasy Team name EVER: The Chudley Cannons. If you don't get it, you don't deserve to (or, just google it, cause I'm not explaining it).

Live it. Love it. BAM.

Too. Tired. For. The. Usual.

Peace, Love, and Fatigue.


Sunday, June 7, 2009

It's HOT in There!

Greetings! I am aware of how long it's been since I last updated, so save it Aunt Tina/Julie. I am in NO mood for your complaining. Literally nothing has been going on in the world of Katie, so I haven't felt the need to update y'all on anything. It has come to my attention, however, that my upcoming trip to NYC will be canceled should I continue to neglect this bloggy-wog (I've been reading too much Russel Brand). So. Here. We. Go.

A few countdowns:

12: number of days till I arrive in NYC and see my wonderful Grace
1: number of exams I have separating me from summer (Near Eastern Art and Visual Culture, Monday at noon)
~52: number of weeks until I will move to England!*

*I have decided that I shall move to England, whether or not I've been accepted to a graduate program. It's what I want, and I'm all about doing the things that I want to do and doing the things that'll make me happy. Grace's recent move to NYC has inspired me to sit and think about what direction I want my life to go in. Let's break it down and get serious for a moment (this is what happens when I blog against my will - I'm all emo and shit): If I could be anywhere in the world, I'd be in London. If I could do anything in the world, it'd be to be in a graduate program in England. I'm graduating next December. I'm going to really be in charge of my life for the first time. Put it all together, and what do you get? Katie goes to London! I see it a la Mary Tyler Moore, minus Minneapolis, plus a sweet flat, and of course still beret-throwing.

And hopefully still toting that rawsome coat

Annie, Julia, and I decided to start doing Bikram Yoga. Hilarity ensued via the near-death experience that IS hot yoga.... by the end of the hour and a half session I had:
1. soaked my tank top through with sweat so that it looked like I had gone swimming
2. died for ca. 2 minutes
3. felt like I was on acid
4. stubbed my toe on my other toe due to a combination of my left leg sliding down my sweaty right leg and trying to position my body in ridiculous pose

That's pretty much what I looked like though....little known fact about Bikram yoga is that you turn in an extremely limber and well muscled dude. It was hot. LITERALLY!! zing.

In case you were wondering, I did indeed have a great trip to Kappa Kappa Tina/the Nana in St. Louis. The highlight of the trip was my Nana calling Gracie a drunk slut. There's nothing better than Garcia with no filter. (Read: Olivia)

I am also 22. 22 --> 25 --> 30 --> death. Woof.

Something I've learned in the past week: It's not difficult to return a text message, but there are extenuating circumstances that prohibit one from fulfilling this necessary human duty (i.e: death; driving; forgotten phone, etc.). If you choose not to, you're obviously a) not a human and b) an asshole non-human. Generally from the Scandinavian countries.

I wasn't going to name-names, but DAMNIT Yukon Cornelius! TAKE A MINUTE AND GET BACK TO ME! Or is there not enough room on your tool belt for a mobile?!

Hero of the day: The Cure. I don't feel the need to qualify that one.


Currently reading: five weeks worth of articles for my art history class that I made the conscious decision not to read for the past five weeks. FML.
Currently listening to: Hatful of Hollow by The Smiths
Currently craving: a magical way to have all of this Near Eastern Art History material seep into my brain and guarantee me an A in this class.

date; subject matter; material; significance, please.

Peace, Love, and the Persian Empire.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

She's Singing Her Homework

To Do:

1. Stop sabotaging grades via procrastination
2. Get good grades
3. Get into Oxford for Master's Degree
4. Live the Good Life

Why HELLO future! You look purdy.
Done and done.

Livi is singing out her homework. Par example, "raaate of chaaaange between forty eiiight miiiinutes and fooooorty miiiiinutes....Kaaaaattiiieeee whaaaaat endddding doesssss the accusaaaaative caaaaseeee haaaave innnnn ttheeeee feeeminine fiiiirst declenssiiooon????"

Not much is going on the world of Katie. I'm mega-busing it with Max to St. Louis soon, but until then it's nose to the grindstone as I try and finish:

1 paper discussing the differences and similarities between palatial structures from the Assyrian Empire with the Minoan Empire
2 exams (art history and deutsch)
1 thesis (bah hahaha RIGHT)

...not too bad, but not too good, either. Anyone want to write my thesis for me?

just add messing around with Livi and Manuel to the mix, and there ya go. FML.

I'm working on getting over my fear of whales. It's completely irrational, and serves only to create awkward conversations when asked what my biggest fear is. Some would say Dementors, others would say death. I say, "Orcas."

The sun just came out, and it's completely beautiful and wonderful in the kitchen with the light streaming poetically through the windows as if Zeus opened up the heavens to shine directly on me and Livi. When I said this to Livi, she said, "You're weird, and I just farted." And then danced away. Oh, to be young again...

Hero of the day: Salmon, for providing me with delicious nutrition in a fun and pink way.

That is a surprisingly accurate visual representation of what I look like while feasting

Currently listening to: Regina Spektor singing Real Love
Currently reading: Plato (and, Grace, I don't read "entire historical texts in the span of a week" - I read specific chapters and essays as they relate to my thesis. Just cause I got out of the Banana Stand business doesn't mean you have to be a hater)
Currently craving: my girls to GRADUATE and COME HOME!!!

Peace, Love, and Bitches.


Thursday, May 7, 2009

Bendtner, FTW!

We didn't deserve to beat Man U. They're a better team than we are right now. That doesn't mean that the game and the loss don't hurt. Ugh. What a result.

He knew what to do: get wasted and drop some pants. It's what I like to do, and let's be honest - it's hot. Especially the look on the dude to the rights face.

Moving on...

I'm sitting in class right now and am (regrettably) unable to pay attention to Near Eastern Art and Visual Culture. It's a great class, but it's 75 degrees and sunny outside and I just can't take it. Fail?

Speaking of fails, I haven't fallen in a while! I've been running into things, but that's just cause there are too many large objects in my house.

My birthday is coming up. Am I excited to turn 22? No. Woof.

I bet Chuck Norris told time to fuck off and that's how he's stayed at the perfect age of 21 for the past 100 years

Liv update: Mice? GONE. Telling time? We're working on it. Getting out of Baker in less than 20 minutes? Getting better. Snarky comments about my life? Still ever present.

I have a new raison d'etre: Doctor Anthony Whiskers, the Persian kitty that Grace and I are going to get and share custody of.

You may call him Dr. Whiskers. He's a gifted surgeon, and enjoys string.

Did you know that the Hittite King asked Egyptian doctors to come to his court as his personal physicians? Now you do. Good thing I'm paying attention during class, or you would've missed that gem.

Hero of the day: Zeus, for allowing today to be rawsome and not shower us with his thunder bolts again.

I bet you thought I'd have an image of Zeus from an Attic vase or summat? Suckers.

Currently listening to: My professor lecture about Hattusha, the Hittite imperial capital
Currently reading: Reign of the Phallus (for my thesis, and my own personal enjoyment)
Currently craving: to get the F out of here.

Peace, love,and liberation.


Thursday, April 30, 2009

If you were a dinosaur, what kind would you be?

I'd be a pterodactyl.

Except, get that bitch OFF me.

Livi told me why I shouldn't win the lottery: "you'd spend all your money buying Robert Pattinson, and then your head would explode and he would leave." Thanks for summing up my existence in one sentence that makes me out to be not only insecure but also shallow.

She's right, though. Awks for me.

My relationship with E-Harps can be summed up as follows:
cfine26 (5:41:31 PM): you remind me of a young lisa rinna
ericharp1317 (5:42:27 PM): you remind me of a young andy dick

Gorsh, life is boring right now. I don't dare speak of today's Arsenal game. I was recording it, and in a shower of epic fail I came home to watch it, turned on the TV, and the final score flashed on the screen. I still watched the whole thing though. My knees gave out at the end, and I fell to the floor in the fetal position, weeping and crying out to Sir Alex for being a right dirty arse and Arsene for not taking my advice when I was screaming it out to him. Joke's on me though - he couldn't hear me! I was watching a recording! Silly Katie.

Graduate applications loom ever nearer, and I still haven't started studying for the GRE. I'm sort of hoping that I'll be struck by lightening between now and September (when I take the horrid thing) and be imbued with all the knowledge in the world. But, given my luck, my mind wouldn't be able to handle all that
knowing and I would inevitably die, a la John Travolta in Phenomenon. Although his death was poetic and fitting with the overall message of the movie (which was, of course, submit to Xenu).

Love that butt-chin

The Cubs are sucking right now, but I'd rather have them slump now than in July. I still want you all to keep voting for me!
Click on: Vote for a story
go to around page 20, and vote for "CFine26"

Hero of the day: Steve Guttenberg. I feel no need to explain my decision.

Currently reading: Plato's Symposium (for my thesis. woof.)
Currently listening to: Oracular Spectacular by MGMT (not by choice - Livi and her friend are BLASTING it to the mice)
Currently craving: For Geo Soto to snap out of his hitting slump

Peace, Love, and hitting at least your weight.


Sunday, April 26, 2009

This is only funny if you read

...Or, if you know Grace...

(Sweatshirt stolen from E.J; DIY macaroni necklace; Nike ACG fleece pants; F21 Aviators; Vintage Minnie Mouse Ears)

"Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way" - Jimmy Buffet

This is what happens when left to my own devices. You people better get home soon.

Peace, love, and iPhoto.