Thursday, April 30, 2009

If you were a dinosaur, what kind would you be?

I'd be a pterodactyl.

Except, get that bitch OFF me.

Livi told me why I shouldn't win the lottery: "you'd spend all your money buying Robert Pattinson, and then your head would explode and he would leave." Thanks for summing up my existence in one sentence that makes me out to be not only insecure but also shallow.

She's right, though. Awks for me.

My relationship with E-Harps can be summed up as follows:
cfine26 (5:41:31 PM): you remind me of a young lisa rinna
ericharp1317 (5:42:27 PM): you remind me of a young andy dick

Gorsh, life is boring right now. I don't dare speak of today's Arsenal game. I was recording it, and in a shower of epic fail I came home to watch it, turned on the TV, and the final score flashed on the screen. I still watched the whole thing though. My knees gave out at the end, and I fell to the floor in the fetal position, weeping and crying out to Sir Alex for being a right dirty arse and Arsene for not taking my advice when I was screaming it out to him. Joke's on me though - he couldn't hear me! I was watching a recording! Silly Katie.

Graduate applications loom ever nearer, and I still haven't started studying for the GRE. I'm sort of hoping that I'll be struck by lightening between now and September (when I take the horrid thing) and be imbued with all the knowledge in the world. But, given my luck, my mind wouldn't be able to handle all that
knowing and I would inevitably die, a la John Travolta in Phenomenon. Although his death was poetic and fitting with the overall message of the movie (which was, of course, submit to Xenu).

Love that butt-chin

The Cubs are sucking right now, but I'd rather have them slump now than in July. I still want you all to keep voting for me!
Click on: Vote for a story
go to around page 20, and vote for "CFine26"

Hero of the day: Steve Guttenberg. I feel no need to explain my decision.

Currently reading: Plato's Symposium (for my thesis. woof.)
Currently listening to: Oracular Spectacular by MGMT (not by choice - Livi and her friend are BLASTING it to the mice)
Currently craving: For Geo Soto to snap out of his hitting slump

Peace, Love, and hitting at least your weight.


Sunday, April 26, 2009

This is only funny if you read

...Or, if you know Grace...

(Sweatshirt stolen from E.J; DIY macaroni necklace; Nike ACG fleece pants; F21 Aviators; Vintage Minnie Mouse Ears)

"Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way" - Jimmy Buffet

This is what happens when left to my own devices. You people better get home soon.

Peace, love, and iPhoto.


Friday, April 17, 2009

Welcome Back, Carbs!

"Mental Health" days (or, "Nervous People" days as Kath Kath would say) = Best excuse for staying home and watching the Cubs ever... Too bad the only person on the team who is hitting right now is Fukudome and walking people is apparently the new cool trend in major league baseball. Fail.

A note to Aunt Tina: you don't like baseball, and you don't care about baseball unless the Cards are playing the Cubs. If you are going to continue to act like you give a shit and ridicule my team via the comments section and twitter, I will drive the five hours to Clayton just to egg your worst-party ride and then punch you in the boob.

Think Uncle Tom will still want to be married to you after I drug you and get this tattooed on your right shoulder? Me neither. Biatch.

(vs. Man U in the semis....and if you're wondering, yes, I did direct reply to the arseblogger yesterday and yes, I'm still hoping he'll write back. I need to stop direct messaging people I don't actually know. FML)

If listening to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (as read by the wonderful and talented Jim Dale) in your car (and therefore spend between 10-15 minutes extra in your car every time you reach a destination so that you can keep listening) is wrong, then there is no way I ever want to be right.

I'm debating getting a Snuggie. What do you think?

Look! It's Katie! And she's translating Greek! With her Snuggie on! (or, no?)

(I'm big into parentheses today, apparently.)

Because I dropped the Renaissance Lit class (in favor of taking an independent study and completing my thesis), I don't get to see Beau-the-ascot-wearing-boy-wonder nearly as much as I'd like to, but there was a sighting today outside of the libes! He was wearing khakis, loafers (sans socks, of course), a white oxford shirt, and, wait for it, a GREEN ascot! Now, I was thinking earlier this week (yeah, Beau pops into my head from time to time...) that there is no way that he could wear an ascot every day - it would just be impractical to own that many ascots. But today he was looking ravishing in that green number, so I have to conclude that he indeed wears an ascot every day, which makes me just plain happy. This world needs more awkwardly nicknamed kids that wear ascots. Bless him.

Livi is performing an experiment involving mice. Pinky, and The Brain. She and her friend posit that by playing rock music continuously to one and classical music continuously to the other will make the one listening to classical music move through a maze faster. I posit that I am going to go fucking insane listening to Livi's iPod "Mouse Rock Mix" on repeat - James Blunt, Maroon 5, Counting Crows (the new, bad stuff, not the old, good stuff), and only ONE Pink Floyd song (though why she has the song Money on her iPod is beyond me). I have failed in her music education.


Hero of the day: my slippers, for keeping my toes warm as I ate dinner at Pita Inn with Rachel. There is nothing quite like the content feeling associated with warm feet and falafel.

Thanks, guys!

Currently reading: American Pastoral by Philip Roth (I know, still, but I have very little leisure time of late)
Currently listening to: Livi's fucking mouse mix faintly playing in the background
Currently craving: instructions to my sewing machine

peace, love, and do-it-yourself.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Complaining in the comments section doesn't make this come any faster

Dear Diary,

The monotony of April continues...let's have some sun, yeah?



Yeah, that.

I don't post much about Arsenal on this, mainly because I fear that Bsto will ridicule me for my statements mainly concerning the physical appearance of the squad, but I'd like to put this out there: Wigan 1-4 Arsenal; 1/4 finals coming up against Villareal tomorrow night;"early and unconfirmed reports that Diaby and Eduardo will play"; use caution when following the ArseBlogger on twitter on game days when you don't want to know the outcome; this just in: Giselle is an Arsenal fan?; We'll be OK without Gallas, damnit...


Trying to file a tax-extension form is both complicated and annoying. I don't feel the need to explain to them why I need an extension. Just accept that I'm asking for one and move on please IRS men! I promise I don't make enough money for it matter! Maybe I'll just attach a piece of paper to my form that has the address to this bloggy-wog and then they'll be all, "ok, this girl is legit. EXTENSION GRANTED."

I'm becoming addicted to twitter, and not in a good or healthy way. I direct-answered a famous person today, I'm not going to say which famous person in an effort to protect my street cred, and then things just got downright awkward when I laughed out loud at my own wit and stupidity during my art history class. FML.

No falls to report. Woot woot. Maybes I'm turning over a new leaf??

Look! It's the no-fall leaf!

The Smiths raise a good question: "Why do I smile at people I'd much rather kick in the eye?"

Hero of the day: Theodore Roosevelt Lily, for throwing an amazing 6 2/3 innings at the Cubs home opener yesterday. 5-2 is a great start to the season!

I wonder if he thinks about me when he's on the mound?

Currently reading: American Pastoral by Philip Roth
Currently listening to: Electric Light Orchestra
Currently craving: an anecdote to being a soccer mom...

ELO: Use of fog machine? A+ !

peace, love, and mini-vans.


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Passover cometh

It's my favorite time of year! That's right folks, BASEBALL SEASON IS UPON US! This means that everything that is wrong in the world - the wars, famine, disease, natural disasters, Sarah Palin - are all righted because of the return of my Boys in Blue.

Aunt Tina: if you shit in the comments section about the Cardinals, I will punch you. Right in the face.

As Annie Savoy said (via Susan Sarandon via Bull Durham), "Walt Whitman once said, 'I see great things in baseball. It's our game -- the American game.' He said, 'It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us.' You could look it up."

After attending the 105th annual meeting of the Classics Association of the Midwest, West, and South this past weekend in Minneapolis, Minnesota, I feel that I can make the following statements without reservation:
1. I am a huge, huge fucking nerd
2. Minneapolis is a weird city where people mainly stay indoors.
3. If I lived in Minneapolis, I would mainly stay indoors.
4. Adventureland is an indulgent waste of time that I absolutely recommend seeing, if for nothing else than for the Lou Reed-heavy soundtrack and memories it evokes of that creepy carnival you used to go to every summer when you were a kid.

Read: Creepy Carnival I used to go to as a kid.

I would like to make an amendment to something that I wrote about a while back: I made the sweeping generalization that "dudes with aviators piss me off". I need to go back and make this point abundantly clear - the only dudes with aviators that piss me off are the ones that pair them with a backwards/side tilted baseball cap displaying their Frat letters; tattered jeans; and Birkenstocks, who parade down Sheridan road toasting other dudes they see in similar regalia for their awesome Bro-ness, all the while shuffling their feet so that the flow of traffic must accommodate them and their douchebaggy way of life.

Other aviators are OK. More than OK. Aviators can be a great fashion statement for women and men alike.



NOT Awesome.

Live and learn kiddies, live and learn.

Gotta run to class (Ancient Near Eastern Art and Visual Culture), no time for heroes or my cravings, but there will be more later.