Friday, January 16, 2009

This shit is PRIME tundra real estate

Top of the frosty mornin'! It's a "chilly" negative 9 degrees here in Evanston, Illinois, but don't worry, it "feels" much colder than that. I'm going to go ahead and give a big "FAIL" to the world right now. Al Gore is clearly full of shit- Global WARMING my ass.

"When I say, 'Global Warming', I mean, 'Borophil.' "

Woke up to:
1) a bathroom full of Livi
2) A cat on my face
3) Nothing warm enough to wear cause even wearing jeans makes me feel like my legs are going to fall off
4) No more flax waffles

For the past three days, we've had all the sinks in the house running just a tiny bit so that the pipes won't freeze. While this is a valid and understandable measure to take to fight the evils of pipe bursting (just as Sethie), it creates the creepiest/most obnoxious environment EVER. Yesterday I was sitting at the kitchen table trying to learn German past participles (ausgefangen, gegangen, gewesen...basically more guttural weird noises to create a language that is the most conducive to spitting whilst speaking), you know, the usual, and I found that I was completely and totally unable to concentrate due to the continual "drip-drip-drip-dripping" of not one, but three sinks in the vicinity. Coupled with the extreme cold and silence of the Michigan homestead, I was fully expecting to be attacked by a man in a mask seeking revenge for his family that was killed by a sink or something....or at least Livi in a ski mask trying to scare me.

Addendum: Julia explained more fully to me why she hated being called a "hipster", and I promised that I would update my crazy rant about the over-exaggerated offence that people take to the term. Julia pointed out that there exists a sect of people who do, in fact, hold the basic and ridiculous tenants that they are "put upon", a la Holden Caulfield, by a society who doesn't understand them and never will. They therefore act as if nothing matters to them, are generally surly, and overall they just suck. So, Julia, I do not mean to associate you with such lowlifes and scoundrels. You, my dear, are a gem amongst gems and I adore your fashion sense. That's all I was trying to say.

The Northwestern Library is trying to drive me insane via broken copiers, non-re shelved books, ridiculous fines, angry and unhelpful workers, and flat diet coke.

I'm leaving for inauguration tomorrow.

I had a dream that Bob Dylan circa 1968 was playing a small concert with Jimi Hendrix and I was there, but I was wearing a really, really ugly cream colored dress. Bruce Springsteen was also there, and he introduced himself to me as "Bruce, nice to meet you! Enjoy the concert."

"That's quite an ugly dress, Katie!"

"How-to" systematically sabotage your entire life:
1. Sign up for too many classes
2. Try to write a thesis while taking too many classes
3. Try and learn a fifth language
4. Become a nanny when you clearly don't have the energy to be a mom to a an eleven-year old
5. Stay up as late as possible
6. Get insomnia
7. Order as many items as possible from Billy Mays and/or Vince (SHAMWOW!) whilst watching infomercials because you cannot sleep
8. Become a classics major
9. Ignore good advice from friends about everything and anything, even though you seek said advice


If you could be one person (dead or alive) for just one day, who would you be?
If you said any of the following, go bury yourself in the snow:
a. Yourself
b. Grace Clarke
c. Eric Harper
d. Blowfish Fraimingham
e. Mark Prior (what up '03 Cubs?...yeah, it still hurts.)

Who would I be?

Pericles, pointy head and all.

OK just kidding. I'd totes be Manhattan Barton, World's cutest puppy dog.

Hero of the day: Obviously, that man who landed a freaking broken plane on the freaking Hudson River. WHO DOES THAT? Captain Chesley Sullenberger, that's who. His amazing feat of bad-assery and overall MAD FUCKING SKILLS earns him this prestigious spot in blog history.

I heard he wrassled a gator on top of Mount Everest. Naked.

Currently listening to: The sounds of people walking down the hallway in Kresge
Currently Reading: Sympotica by Oswyn Murray
Currently Craving: Anything. I'm starving.

Peace, Love, and Will's sweet new tat.



  1. 1. 'offenSe'
    2. long underwear and/or snowpants
    3. Capt. "Sully" Sullenberger III, if you please.
    4. Say hey to Barack for me.

  2. so ok, the only comments i understood of julie's were numbers 3 and 4. what up with numbers 1 and 2? tell barack our last date was totes fun.

  3. 1. 's' not 'c' in offenSe [apparently her editor is gone on Fridays]
    2. if it's cold outside you MUST wear these..otherwise you are very sad.
    3. KT we'll miss you this weekend!

  4. yes, we will miss you. be safe and have fun.

  5. i understand you're busy with mr. obama, but give us an update already, will ya?

  6. hey, pick yourself up and get back on that horse.

  7. ALWAYS good advice.

  8. why do i bother checking? snowday day 2, i'm bored.

  9. I am so so sad. First, because Katie has given up on this magnificent piece of journalism/realism/etc. Secondly because those babies in St. Louis had another snow day. Geez. Thirdly, no one will go snowshoeing with me. Double geez.