Monday, February 2, 2009

BACK! And better than ever. Oh wait...FML

First, I apologize to my loyal readers for my lack of posts. After I got back from DC, I discovered that I'd lost all of my creative juices (having apparently left them in the black hole of Ben's apartment) and had no energy or desire to update.

But just like Britney, I'm ready for a comeback.

It's Katie, bitch.

Happy Groundhog's day. I just spent ten minutes trying to find out if the groundhog saw his shadow or not today, but all I could find was a video of Michael Bloomberg trying to wrestle "Chuck" (Staten Island's groundhog) out of his home with a corncob. While slightly humorous, it gave me no indication of whether or not this godforsaken, horrid, bitch of a winter will continue for another six weeks or not. Given that we're in Chicago and the gods hate me, I am predicting that there will be another six weeks (at least) of this arctic tundra.

My new mantra: F M L. It's the new "Epic Fail" . I use it so often in texts that it's worked itself into my text dictionary. That in itself is worth another "FML". Aunt Julie, ask Aunt Tina what it means. Aunt Tina, ask Hope/Grace. I'm getting it tattooed across my forehead.

Inauguration...more like, stuck in a tunnel for five hours...
- woke at 4:55 a.m after sleeping for about forty five minutes
- couldn't find two socks, so I wore my Sorel boots with only one sock on
- couldn't find a hat
- fell into Ben's desk and broke it
- was shut in a tunnel with thousands of people, including a Max who told me I "smell like airplane food"
- was shut in a tunnel with thousands of people without any volunteers, cops, or other authoritative figures
- was shut in a tunnel with thousands of people and was convinced there was going to be a riot and I would get trampled to death, and the last thing my eyes would set upon was the obnoxious red bandanna that Max wouldn't take off
- didn't get into the purple ticket area where we were supposed to be because several cops and secret service people told me and Max that the purple section was closed
- ended up standing outside in the biting cold listening to Obama's swearing in via an old radio
- had to walk back three miles from the capitol, sans historical observation point memories, plus one friend who is cranky when he is hungry.

This was my vantage point: Armageddon.

However, all was made well when we went to the Staff Ball the next night. Glorious. I'd post pictures, but in true FML form my camera died right when Obama came on stage to address his loyal staffers (and me). Jay-Z performed and we were so close we could see the sweat on Hov's mighty countenance.

I would like to send a shout out to the residents of 24th and M apartment #813- they housed and fed me for almost a week, and didn't even get mad when I broke an entire bottle of rum all over the kitchen. LUMI BEN!!!!

My new raison d'etre: the nineties.

Olmec says you've won a sweet new pair of BK RATCH TECHS for finding the golden nose ring of Babe the Blue Ox

Still obsessed with ellipses...

Thoughts on the superbowl: I don't give a fuck unless it's a team I care about. Thus, last night's game was full of spacing out, thinking about vampires and my German quiz, and wondering whether or not it was healthy to eat an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies (answer? yes. Yes it is.). The best part was the commercial for "Career Builder" where a koala gets punched in the face. I laughed so hard I almost pulled a Kathy Garcia and peed in my pants.

"Oh Dear!" And then it got punched.

I want to go to Cubs spring training for spring break. Who's with me? Derrek Lee? Ryan Theriot? Let's carpool with Fontenot! And Scott Eyre? Oh wait, you're on the reigning world champion Phillies now. FML.

Classes shmasses. What up second semester senior? Oh wait, I'm on quarters. And I have an extra quarter to finish. What up pseudo-junior year almost done but not quite with either of my majors? FML.

And so, ice is back with a brand new edition of failtastic adventures.

Hero of the day: Julia Ships for starting a blog and adding to my list of procrastination tools and upping the level of times I laugh in a day.

It's only scary if you notice the knife.

Currently listening to: Livi's math lesson
Currently reading: Audacity of Hope by Barack Hussein Obama


Peace, love, and the Gunners.