Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I heart Jake dot com

First: 9 a.m playdates should be illegal. Especially on a Monday morning. Who does that? Oh right...my aunts. Fail.

Also, having a playdate with a piano prodigy child thing is not only intimidating but also obnoxious. I can guarantee you that Bach didn't want you playing his shit at your friends' houses the minute you walk into the door. I'm sure Julliard will be excited to hear it, but your friend's tired and bitter nanny sure as shit doesn't want to (OOOH! BURNED!).

Full House* made Annie miss her train this afternoon, so the two girls (Livi and the playdate, whom I shall now refer to as "PD" to keep her good name out of this) and I made a trip into Highland Park. Although I thought that there would be no worse torture than two 11 year old girls making me listen to their gossip and crappy radio for 45 minutes, I was happily mistaken to learn that they had brought the game "Catchphrase" with them in car.

One game to rule them all.

The following is not made up:

Livi: OK! It's like beer, but it's not!
Annie: Wine!
PD: Alcohol!
Livi: No, it's like, not like that, it's like beer
Annie: What?
PD: Wine?
Livi: NO! Ugh, it was Root Beer!
Katie: You're not allowed to use one of the words that's IN the answer...
Livi: Oh, right, OK! It's uhh, it's burning! and it's not liquid, but almost.
Katie: Fire? What?!
Annie: ??
PD:???
Livi: HOTSAUCE!

* Full House episode 6, season 2, Beach Boy Bingo: "The Beach Boys are in town and D.J. wins a radio contest where she and a guest can see the Beach Boys in concert. Problem is, Danny, Jesse and Joey want to go and D.J. has to decide who will go with her. When she makes her decision, Danny has hurt feelings because he isn't chosen. Now D.J. is upset because of that and she doesn't know what to do." - IMDB ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0584108/ )

Awkward for everyone...but mostly them.

Highland Park ---> Corner Bakery ---> Michigan Ave --> Dropping off PD ---> dropping Livi off at hockey/friend's house ---> Getting car stuck in snow at said friend's house ---> Dundee rd. to drop off legal documents (I'm important) ---> Picked up "douchebag mcgee" aka Pax Tubin --> Uncle Dan's ---> Dick's Sporting goods---> Glencoe Metra Station ---> Sheridan Rd. ---> Crate & Barrell ---> Best Buy ---> Sheridan rd. ---> Michigan ave.

I. am. le. tired.

However, DAA BEARS! Beat the Packers tonight, 20-17. The game wans't without it's flaws, but we pulled it out. BEAR DOWN!!!!!



Wham bam thank you ma'am.

You know what really grinds my gears? THE GARCIA FAMILY'S INABILITY TO PLAN CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR! I know it's been a tough couple of weeks...DUH. But if we aren't together someone is going to get beat up, and her name is Tina Garcia. And her Worst Party Ride* will also bear the brunt of my anger. Please, can we please please please just be together? Yes? OK great. Thanks.

* while Tina requested to have her Worst Party Ride's name changed back to "Sweet Ride", I have to deny that request for the sake of the truth. I don't want to get sued for libel. The truth hurts, but I still want my new sweet tat. Love you Teenie!

Moving on to today's hero of the day: It was a tough decision given the heroic nature of the holiday season. However, I have decided on Jacob Isaiah Rubin for his efforts in making my life a better place through his manliness (farting constantly and claiming to not be able to keep them in cause it "hurts his insides") and dedication to awesome.

Conan the Barbarian ain't got nothing on you
(Maybe if you hadn't called me a Communist it would be you. Now stop licking my hand, you horse's ass)

Currently listening to: Justice
Currently reading: The Brother Karamazov
Currently craving: Family.

Peace, love, and Funk Fraimingham.

-Blowfish

4 comments:

  1. christmas in FdL? We got snow, we got puppy chow, we got a woodstove w/couch in proximity, we got annoying dogs....how 'bout it? However my car [aka the REAL S.R.] is missing I-94.

    ReplyDelete
  2. where's your editor????

    "wasn't"


    ITS

    ReplyDelete
  3. Reinstating my SWEET RIDE to *its rightful place = Christmas togetherness.
    However, please note, that I am NOT the only one holding up said holiday plans. Annie? Katie? Aunt P?

    * Please note correct use of the word its.
    Thank you JG for the edits = KT's in college?

    ReplyDelete
  4. i love you
    i'll backpack my ass down to evanstonia to go see you

    ReplyDelete