Sunday, December 28, 2008

I'm a gamer! Or, FAIL: The story of Christmas

Sorry for my recent absence- the holiday season caused me to be completely and totally bogged down with being lazy. Whomp whomp.

Anyway, let's begin with a list of things that I'm not good at:
1. Cat sitting. I apparently cannot keep it in my head to go to that poor cat's apartment every day and feed her. By the time I get there she is meowing at the door and looks at me with an expression that says, "are you fucking kidding me with this shit Katie? I'M A CAT! I can't feed myself. Get your shit together. Now rub my belly and give me food. And clean up my litter cause it smells." Fail.

2. Wii Winter Sports Skiing. Although, Aunt Pat is worse than me (she fell off it). I can't get my weight to balance as I speed down those icy slopes, and I always end up with the commentators saying things like, "it makes you wonder how she was able to qualify for this event!" and, "the rest of her team must be so disappointed in her!" I'm not kidding. It's like they tap into your fears and make you feel like the biggest loser EVER. Fail.

3. Buying my sister Christmas presents. I bought her a bottle of perfume that she didn't want, and then she had to show me up by buying me a bunch of really awesome gifts. What a hooker. Fail.

...You just can't beat Jack Kerouac, glow necklaces, and Starbucks. Oh, Annie, how you show me up.

Christmas itself was a bundle of cheer though. After getting up at around 8:45 (not too bad considering we have an 11 year-old in the house) and opening presents, Annie, Maxie, Livi, and I retired to the basement to play Wii and X-Box for the rest of the day. It was the best party.

Some notes on Wii:
1. Don't play Livi in Wii Boxing. She will beat you, and then verbally abuse you for the rest of your day (life) about it.
2. Don't try and play any level of MarioKart that has the potential for you to fall off the side of the racetrack unless you are good at MarioKart.
3. Don't play Wii Skiing if you are Pat Garcia (see above). Or me.
4. While it may seem like fun and games, make sure to tighten your Wii remote strap. Someone can and will hit themselves in the face.


Whenever possible, play the game "Mad Gab" with Olivia Garcia Barton. I can't even begin to describe the hilarity of the game itself, let alone when you play it with the comedic timing and genius of Livi.
Hilarity in a box. I should get paid for these endorsements.

X-Box 360 is also SO choice. I highly recommend it.We played for an absurdly long time. DC United vs. Mortal Kombat. I was usually Superman, though I was also Baraka the Mortal Kombat character. He is good cause he can produce swords from unknown cavities in his body, but he sucks cause he drools constantly. Woof.

Looks like Seth. ZING!

One of the most fun options for Day-After-Christmas activities does NOT include going to Woodfield Shopping Center and Ikea. It was a clusterfuck of crying babies, teenage girls giggling over teenage boys, and hot feet. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT wear Sorel boots whilst shopping. Your feet will burn off and cause you to become ornery and unresponsive. Here is what I got at Ikea, though:

Poang (umlaut missing) chair and ottoman

Hemnes bed. I got a big-girl bed! Woo!

Hero of the Day (Week): This one goes to Dr. Who. I know, I know, I'm a loser and I watch Sci-Fi British programming. But, are you really surprised? No. And he just did a fabulous Christmas episode. TOTALLY RAWSOME!

I'd travel to any galaxy with you, Doctor.

Currently listening to: M83
Currently Reading: And the Hippos Were Boiled in their Tanks
Currently Craving: Red Mango

The delicious-ness knows no boundaries.

Peace, Love, and the Doctor.



  1. Christmas part II is on the way Miss Kate. Tell Aunt P. we don't need an elaborate feast; Giordano's will do nicely. I"m travelin' with the Hs.

  2. big boys coming later....losers!!

  3. update to readers: katies bed has arrived. it is, however, still in pieces as she has "forgotten" to assemble it.