Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Here's to you, most boring winter break ever

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Nay. I shall compare thee with the WORST PARTY EVER. Because you, oh fickle-weathered friend, are the most boring, non-eventful, lame winter break ever. Since September I've looked forward to you, but you've proved to be worse than a pair of on-sale Cole Haan boots that don't come in my size. Not only have you bombarded me with several snowstorms, but you've also given me days filled with nothing to do but watch Livi play Wii and lament my life. You, sir, are no more a fun party than staring out the window waiting to leave for Miami is.

Monday... Woke up too late --> new bed delivered --> thought about setting up said bed ---> shower --> Chase bank to change in $70 worth of coins --> Micaela's house ---> Ali's house --> North and Division to shop ---> bought some sweet new pumps (see below)---> Michigan Ave ---> bid farewell to Auntie J and Hannah Mary ---> ate some S-dawg---> watcheed the NU Alamo bowl game ---> made a horrendous video to send to the boys in Israel (I looked like a bag of ass. Sorry you had to see that, boys) ---> read some of my Kerouac book --> a little crossword puzzle action ---> watched some more football --> wandered around the house ---> good lord, I'm just going to stop. My day is even boring ME. Woof.


"Ophelie" pump. Beautiful, eh?

Aaaaand Northwestern just lost in overtime to Mizzou. F. We had a great season, though.

Livi quote of the day: (After taking a big swig of Propel "fitness water") "Wow does that taste good after a workout! I was upstairs, doing cartwheels, handstands, all that stuff. I'm sweaty."


"And don't drink Diet Coke when you exercise. It had Carbon Dioxide in it. That will kill you."

I'm feeling quote emo today, so I'm going to try and stay away from talking about anything having to do with anything relating to my personal life. The rants of a whiny 21 year old is the last thing I want to read, so I would imagine that you, my dear and faithful readers, would not want to read about it either. Instead, let's talk about something that is near and dear to my heart: England. For those of you who don't know, when I grow up it is my dearest ambition to be British. Here is my list of how to achieve this goal:

1. Move to England, either for school for because I get job there
2. Meet a hot, smart, and interesting British man
3. Fool man into falling in love with me
4. Marry foolish man
5. Have British babies who will call me "mum" and be named silly things like "Hugh" and "Bernard"


In 5 easy steps, you too can become British!


Step #2
...I would like to point out that it's taken me more than a week to post a picture of Robert Pattinson on this biatch. I think that I deserve a pat on a the back. Or a pat on the ass. By Robert Pattison. ZING!

In case you were hoping otherwise, I'm sorry to inform you that I will NOT be making any New Year's resolutions. While I am more than happy to bid adieu to that shitstorm that was 2008, every time that I make any resolutions I end up breaking them within a week and then feeling guilty and crappy for the next 11 months until I vow to make the same changes that I did the previous year. This year I'm one-upping myself. I'm resolving not to resolve to do anything, therefore anything that I do improve and/or change will be a pleasant surprise. Par example: Katie, circa January 12, 2009, "You only had two Diet Coke's today! WAY TO GO CHAMP!" Now how much better is that than berating myself for having two Diet Coke's when I had "promised" myself that I would have only one? Answer: SO MUCH BETTER!

Shhh, it's OK. I'll never actually be able to quit you.


Thus, we are onto my hero of the day. This one is especially close to my heart, because it is my Aunt Julie. She pretended to be my Aunt Tina on the phone today and totally bitched some dumb-ass parent out...it was heartwarming. Here's to you, Julia Anne Garcia, for being a total bad ass mofo and not taking NOTHIN' from NO ONE!

All the way to the left: She'll fucking kick your ass. No joke.

Currently listening to: Nothing...it's all quiet on the western (Michigan ave) front. Though that will change shortly, and Elliot Smith will be lullaby-ing Gracie and I to sleep
Currently reading: And the Hippos were Boiled in their Tanks
Currently craving: Exactly what I can't have



Before I sign off, if you see this gnome, please DO NOT return it to Julie Garcia. She uses his powers for evil, not for good.



Peace, love, and Jack Kerouc.

-Blowfish

5 comments:

  1. graces blog review

    best word: berate

    best analogy: likening very sexy, very on-sale very not-my-size shoes to a shitty day

    best sentence: so I'm going to try and stay away from talking about anything having to do with anything relating to my personal life.

    worst/truest sentence: so I'm going to try and stay away from talking about anything having to do with anything relating to my personal life.

    best prediction: e.smith lullabies!

    love
    funkie funk

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am overwhelmed by the honor. By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you British. Anybody feel like arguing with me????

    ReplyDelete
  3. and another thing: I have a flock [?herd? den? army? choose whatever is scariest] of Henrys...and I'm not afraid to use them.

    ReplyDelete
  4. even though you got the direction wrong, the one on the left really can. and will.
    middle one = owner of THE sweetest ride.

    ReplyDelete